Hinenu הִנֵּֽנִוּ
By Rabbi Jim Rogozen, October 3, 2024
When I was a Head of School in Cleveland, we had a custom of inviting the previous year’s valedictorian to give a Dvar Torah at our Annual Meeting. One year, in his drash, the alumnus said, “As Rabbi Rogozen once told us, ‘Sometimes life sucks, but you still have to daven.’” I don’t remember ever saying that (at least in public) but I believe it’s true. The news from the Middle East is troubling, and I know it’s on everyone’s mind. But I’m not an expert on geopolitics or warfare, so I didn’t think it appropriate to make my drash about those topics. Instead, I figured that since this is the time of year that we set aside for meaningful davening and deep introspection, I would give this talk, as is, with the hope that it will strengthen us for the challenging days and months ahead.
The Torah Readings on Jewish Holidays usually contain content about those holidays. But the Rosh HaShana Torah readings don’t. Instead, they tell stories about Avraham, Sarah and their children.
So, it’s fair to ask: why were these stories chosen for Rosh HaShana? And: are the two stories connected, one to the other?
One explanation is that since Rosh HaShana celebrates the beginning of the world, reading about the beginning of the Jewish People makes sense. Both are origin stories.
Another explanation is that both stories contain some common themes: Both sons were the products of miraculous births, there’s a lot of family drama, people make mistakes, families are torn apart, there’s lot of crying, but the children eventually come together to mourn their parents. Each story could be a Hallmark or Oprah kind of movie.
Yet another answer is that a major theme on Rosh HaShana is zikhronot – memories. We find it in our prayers and in our Torah readings. In fact, the first day’s Torah reading begins with, “God remembered Sarah.” And our Shofar blowing is also connected to the Torah Reading on day two. Rosh HaShana is also called Yom HaDin, the day of Judgment. So, we use our texts to remind God of what our ancestors did in order to help tip the scales in our favor. It’s like a theological bank account: every year you can draw a little bit of interest and bring it to shul.
Now, for those who don’t believe that God works that way, don’t worry, stick with me, I’ve got you covered. This drash is for you, too!
Like many of you, I have read and studied these stories for years. But when I became a parent, and a Jewish educator, I began to see them in a new light. I’d like to share with you some of the things that stand out to me in these stories.
First, a quick recap: In Genesis, Chapter 16, after many years of infertility, Avraham, at age 86, has a son (Yishmael) with Hagar, Sarah’s Egyptian maidservant. Then, in chapter 18, an angel appears promises Avraham, age 99, that Sarah will give birth in the coming year. And then God further makes this promise to Avraham:
וַהֲקִמֹתִ֨י אֶת־בְּרִיתִ֥י אִתּ֛וֹ לִבְרִ֥ית עוֹלָ֖ם לְזַרְע֥וֹ אַחֲרָֽיו׃
And I will maintain my Covenant with him (Yitzhak) an everlasting covenant for his offspring to come.
God also promised to make Yishmael the father of 12 chieftains, and a great nation.
Moving ahead to chapter 21, today’s Torah reading. Sarah pushes Avraham to drive away his first-born son Yishmael (and his mother Hagar). Sarah feels that Yishmael has been a bad influence on their younger son Yitzhak. Several Midrashim describe the terrible things that Yishmael had allegedly done. He ravished maidens, dishonored married women, practiced idolatry, he even shot arrows in Yitzhak’s direction for fun.
Sarah perceives that Yishmael, for whatever reason, needs to go. She is hyper-focused on God’s promise that Yitzhak is their future and seems blind to Yishmael and Hagar’s needs. But Avraham’s love for his first-born son blinds him to the boy’s alleged faults and to the bigger picture. Surely, he remembered that God promised to make Yishmael the leader of a great nation, so there was no need to worry about him. So, I wonder, after everything God has done for Avraham and Sarah, who is this Avraham that would lose sight of both of God’s promises? As we can see, God has to step in and say, “Nu, Avraham, listen to your wife!”
So, as we read today, Hagar and Yishmael were banished. They were in the desert, dying of thirst, and God saved them. But here’s a little twist:
וַיִּפְקַ֤ח אֱלֹהִים֙ אֶת־עֵינֶ֔יהָ וַתֵּ֖רֶא בְּאֵ֣ר מָ֑יִם
Then God opened Hagar’s eyes, and she saw a well of water. “God opened Hagar’s eyes” …are we noticing a theme here? Seeing, not seeing…
Let’s move to the second day’s Torah Reading – the “Akeidah” – the “binding” of Yitzhak.
וְהָ֣אֱלֹהִ֔ים נִסָּ֖ה אֶת־אַבְרָהָ֑ם
“God tested Avraham.” The commentators understood this test to be the last of 10 such tests. There is a debate about the exact challenges of the first 9, but it seems that Sarah was involved in at least six of them. Definitely not the one where God commanded Avraham to circumcise himself. But all along, she was an integral part of Avraham’s story.
But not in this last test: Sarah isn’t present for any part of the story. When God calls out to him, Avraham says the word הִנֵּֽנִי – Hineni – here I am.
Just as we asked earlier, we can also ask again: Who is this Avraham? Is this the same Avraham that wouldn’t expel Yishmael? Perhaps he was worn out? What he doesn’t know is that this test will be unlike the others. Let’s see what happens. Well, you know what happens!
God tells Avraham to sacrifice his son, and they quickly set out on their way. One would expect a lot of dialogue over the course of their 3 days journey to the mountain top, but only a total of 28 words are spoken:
Avraham to his servants: 13 words
Avraham to Yitzhak: 8 words
Yitzhak to Avraham: 7 words
In this story, Avraham is so focused on God, so eager to carry out God’s command, he appears to be blind to the feelings of his son, and again, it seems, he’s unaware of the big picture. Remember, God promised that Yishmael would be a leader of his nation. But if Yitzhak dies, that would be the end of the Jewish People.
But how is this possible? How could it be that Avraham doesn’t cry out on behalf of Yitzhak? How could it be that Avraham gets so revved up about killing his son that an angel had to call out his name twice to stop him?
According to the Gemara in Sanhedrin and in the Midrash, Avraham’s intensity was concerning. When the angel stopped Avraham from killing his son, the angel first said:
“אַל־תִּשְׁלַ֤ח יָֽדְךָ֙ אֶל־הַנַּ֔עַר – “Don’t stretch out your hand against the boy,” meaning, “Don’t kill him.”
But, in the Midrash, Avraham offered a compromise:
אוֹציא ממנוּ טיפת דם – “Let me just nick him and draw a drop of blood.” – so the angel had to add the words:
וְאַל־תַּ֥עַשׂ ל֖וֹ מְא֑וּמָה – “Don’t do anything to him.”
The angel had to step in and say, “Avraham. Relax. We’re good. I believe you would have done it. You passed the test.”
As you can imagine, Avraham’s actions bothered many Biblical commentators. Perhaps that’s why we have sources that try to soften his laser-focused actions. Here’s just one Midrash:
God says: “Take your son.”
Avraham answers: “I have two sons.”
God says: “Take your only son.”
Avraham answers: “Each is the only son to his mother.”
God says: “The one you love.”
Avraham answers: “I love them both.”
God, finally, says: “Take Yitzhak.”
Midrash and commentary aside, we know the p’shat, the plain meaning of what happened. As a more recent commentary, the Mishnat Eretz Yisrael, says: לא נזכר בתורה כי אברהם התפלל ונענה.
“The Torah simply doesn’t mention that Avraham prayed for Yitzhak and was answered.”
That’s the Avraham that showed up that day. That Avraham almost lost a son. In some ways, it seems that Avraham lost himself.
I think the key point of these stories is that we, just as Avraham and Sarah did, as did all of our ancestors over the centuries, live with competing values and agendas, with forces and challenges that pull on our hearts and, on our minds. If we’re not careful we can end up seeing what we want to see or need to see, while being blind to others. We can even lose sight of ourselves.
Avraham and Sarah had a great partnership that was tested many times, but with mixed results. But for centuries, our Tradition believed that God absolutely valued their faith, their effort, their struggles. Our Tradition recognized their struggle, because it’s our struggle, too.
We may have full and rich lives. We enjoy a standard of living far above most of the world. But even so, or maybe because of that, we struggle with balancing our needs with the needs of others; the needs of the moment versus long-term needs; with holding out for the ideal versus deciding to compromise.
It’s tempting to think that Avraham and Sarah’s situation was so much larger than ours, even cosmic; it involved God’s commands, and the future of the Jewish People. But the Torah describes them as human beings, who had to make some tough decisions.
As an educator, I know that for decades parents have had to ask themselves really difficult questions: Should we think about our children’s present or their future? About our children’s happiness now, or their future success and security? What do we want them to be like when they grow up?
A more recent question is: Should we send them outside after school to play with friends or should we sign them up for afterschool violin, robotics, Chinese, coding, soccer, basketball and photography to impress future admissions officers?
The challenge for parents is to not let their own ego or “agenda” for their children blind them to their children’s realities and needs. With Yishmael, Avraham saw a son, but Sarah saw a threat. With Yitzhak, Avraham saw God, and perhaps himself, but not his son.
Having to choose, to make a commitment, is difficult for all of us. It forces us to look inward and ask: “Who am I?” and “What do I really care about?”
Well, it just so happens that the time to ramp up that inner conversation begins today, the first day of the Aseret Y’may Tshuva, The 10 Days of Repentance between Rosh HaShana and Yom Kippur. And unlike Opening Day for the Dodgers, we all have seats! Good seats!
So today we launch our annual Heshbon HaNefesh, a 10-day accounting of our souls. Where to begin?
While there are enough self-help books out there to fill an entire library, I’d like to point out a book you already own or have in your hands right now that is a great place to look for guidance – the Siddur, the prayer book.
In the beginning of our morning prayers, we are presented with an interesting questionnaire:
מָה אָֽנוּ מֶה חַיֵּֽינוּ
What are we? What is our life?
מֶה חַסְדֵּֽנוּ, מַה צִּדְקוֹתֵֽינוּ
How are we kind? How are we righteous?
מַה כֹּחֵֽנוּ מַה גְּבוּרָתֵֽנוּ
What is our strength? What is our bravery?
מַה נֹּאמַר לְפָנֶֽיךָ יְהֹוָה אֱלֹהֵֽינוּ
What can we say or – better yet – who are we before You, Adonai, our God?
These questions are meant to encourage humility and self-awareness as we begin our morning prayers. Think of them as a personal action or values inventory: Who am I in different situations? How do I see myself? Do I see what I want to see, not what I need to see? When do I truly see others? When am I blind to others?
This self-interrogation isn’t easy, but it’s necessary.
So here are two tips to help you get through it.
The first is from the book of Zecharia:
הָאֱמֶת וְהַשָּׁלוֹם אֱהָבוּ
Love truth and peace.
The search for meaning and priorities requires us to put aside the mundane and self-centered concerns of our life, and to look for larger truths. 19th Century writer John Ruskin wrote: “To see clearly is poetry, prophecy, and religion all in one.”
Searching for truth leads to meaning and direction and, ultimately to action.
Elizabeth Barrett Browning, referenced Moshe’s new life of action after he encountered God at the Burning Bush, when she wrote:
Earth’s crammed with heaven,
And every common bush afire with God;
But only he who sees, takes off his shoes.
The rest sit around it and pluck blackberries.
When you look, you can find truth and meaning in the world, which will lead to action. Action brings accomplishment, happiness, and a sense of wholeness – שלימוּת –shleimut, from the same root as שלוֹם –Shalom.
The second tip is to have someone in your life who can give you feedback, who can be honest with you if you’re going astray. Someone who can say to you, with love, “What were you thinking?” Or “This doesn’t sound like you!”? Sarah did that for Avraham in the first story. But in the second story Avraham hid his actions – not just from Yitzhak, but from Sarah as well. As we know, it did not turn out well for the family. The Torah tells us that Sarah died immediately after the Akeidah.
We all need people in our lives who can serve as a mirror for us; people who can help us find our true selves, people who keep us from drifting and losing focus, who can help us get back on track.
After all, we’re not here just to serve God.
In fact, when God first blessed Avraham he said וֶהְיֵ֖ה בְּרָכָֽה׃
“You’re here to be a blessing to others.”
In Birkat HaMazon (The blessings after food): we read:
וְנִשָׂא בְרָכָה מֵאֵת יְיָ, וּצְדָקָה מֵאֱלֹהֵי יִשְׁעֵנוּ
We will be agents of blessing and justice.
And…as a result…
וְנִמְצָא חֵן וְשֵׂכֶל טוֹב בְּעֵינֵי אֱלֹהִים וְאָדָם
We will be seen as pleasant, compassionate, and thoughtful in the eyes of God and one another.
Some say the most important Mitzvah in the Torah is:
וְעָשִׂ֛יתָ הַיָּשָׁ֥ר וְהַטּ֖וֹב בְּעֵינֵ֣י יְהוָ֑ה
Do what is right and good in the eyes of God.
It’s a lot easier to do this when we have people in our lives who help us achieve balance and find our best self. I’ve been blessed that my wife Marci is that person for me.
Our search and our struggle to find our true selves, along with the support we get from one another, will give us a sense of calm, of self-understanding, even a sense of renewed mission, as we stand before God on Rosh HaShana and Yom Kippur and say הִנֵּֽנִי – Hineni – here I am.
This past year, though, we, the Jewish People, have been struggling more than in previous years, and there’s more to come. We need God and each other, more than ever.
Perhaps this year we need to say a little more than, “Hineni, here I am, a descendant of Avraham and Sarah, trading on their merit.”
Maybe we need to say the following:
שמע קוֹלינוּ – Shma Koleinu – God, hear our voices, ותפתח עינינוּ- vtiftach eynaynu – and open our eyes, so we can better see ourselves and one another…
וְנִשָׂא בְרָכָה …v’neesa bracha – so that each one of us can be a blessing to others in the year to come.”
May we see peace
עלינוּ ועל כל ישראל ועל כל יוֹשבי תבל
Aleinu V’al Kol Yisrael, v’al Kol yoshvei tevel
Peace for us, for the Jewish People, for the State of Israel, and for all who live on earth.
Shana Tova!