By Jacki Honig, November 23, 2024
Once upon a time, in a kingdom far far away, there was a man. Let’s call him, oh, I don’t know, Isaac. He was a very sad man, for you see, his mother had recently died and his father was a piece of work to say the least. Isaac had left home many years before and now he was alone in the world. Even though his father wasn’t the greatest at being a dad, he was trying sometimes, and this day was one of those times. His father, let’s call him Abe, sent his servant to find a wife for his son, Isaac. Abe’s servant, Eli, charged with this task, set off wondering how to know who was the right wife for his master’s son. Along the way he pondered and he decided that he was looking for someone kind. He came to the city and lo and behold, a beautiful woman, Becky, came up and offered him and his camels water. This was it, this was the woman!
Arrangements are made, and Eli hurries home to bring Isaac. They return and find Becky sitting on her camel. She looks up, sees Isaac and BAM she falls in love, quite literally. She falls off her camel, the dashing prince runs in to save her, it’s true love, and they live happily ever after. Or at least as happily ever after as anyone in that ancient kingdom ever lived….
The story we read today sounds like a fairytale. Far off places, betrayal and adventure, and most of all, true love. Isaac and Rebecca are the closest thing our Torah offers us to a fairy tale love story. Genesis has lots of dysfunctional family stories, it’s not hard to find the lessons of what not to do, but this week we see a beautiful example of what is possible. The verse tells us:
וַיְבִאֶ֣הָ יִצְחָ֗ק הָאֹ֙הֱלָה֙ שָׂרָ֣ה אִמּ֔וֹ וַיִּקַּ֧ח אֶת־רִבְקָ֛ה וַתְּהִי־ל֥וֹ לְאִשָּׁ֖ה וַיֶּאֱהָבֶ֑הָ וַיִּנָּחֵ֥ם יִצְחָ֖ק אַחֲרֵ֥י אִמּֽוֹ׃
Isaac then brought her into the tent of his mother Sarah, and he took Rebekah as his wife. Isaac loved her, and thus found comfort after his mother’s death.
Isaac loved her. We’ve been told before about love in the Torah, but only weaponized against Isaac. God told Avraham to take the son he loves and sacrifice him. This is the first time we’ve seen love between partners, love as something sweet and tender. This love is beautiful, and as far as the couples of Genesis go, Rivkah and Yitzchak fare pretty well. For so many of us, this is the thing we hope to find in our lives. Someone who falls off their camel in love for us, raises two children with us, and is with us until our eyes grow dim at the end of our days. This isn’t everyone’s story, though, and there are plenty of other ways to find love, and our verse may offer us some insight into that as well.
Our verse not only tells us that Isaac loves Rivkah, but it says that he found comfort after his mother’s death. This, I want to posit, is the key to what love is, wherever we find it. When we are in loving relationships, we find comfort, and so much more.
Loneliness is an epidemic, and romantic partnership is not the only way out. In his book, Together, former surgeon general Dr. Vivek Murthy explains about the health risks caused by loneliness and mitigated by relationship. Loneliness is more dangerous than nearly any other health issue, and is known to exacerbate all sorts of other problems like heart disease and diabetes. My favorite part, though, is the positive side: that close relationship can help maintain good health and extend our lives. Close friendship is even more likely to extend life than romantic partnership, though both are helpful. I don’t want to just rattle off statistics, and I’m not here to sell you on something. I just want to hopefully bring out something you know deep in your heart: love makes life better, wherever it is found.
Thinking about Library Minyan, this is a place in which we can all find love, romantic and otherwise. I’m not sure how many of you, if any, remember, but three years ago I spoke on this same parsha, my first time speaking in Library Minyan and one of my first few times ever here. I remember sitting with Ben Richards, already a dear friend, and being nervous to speak in front of a group of practical strangers. Clearly Ben, along with a few other friends, found romantic love, but since then I’ve found something special here, too. This community has brought wonderful humans into my life, showed me all sorts of love, and has brought me comfort as I’m on this crazy journey of rabbinical school, especially after the death of my father a few summers ago. If you each take a few moments to look around, I’m sure you can spot the people who you love in this room, the people who bring comfort, and the people who simply make your life better – even if you don’t fall off a camel at the sight of them.
I really love a good fairy tale. This week’s parsha delights me because it’s so lovely to have a break from fighting and killing and dysfunctional families for a few minutes and to talk about something that matters so clearly to each of us in every generation: love. Sometimes it is clear when we’ve found it, we see it as soon as we open our eyes. Sometimes it sneaks up on us or is found outside of romantic relationships. But wherever it is found, our parsha tells us what love can do for us. It can find us in hard times and it can bring us comfort, now and always. Shabbat shalom.